ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
