im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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