I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
