He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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