is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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