She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
