Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
