watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
