i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
