It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
babies were throwing up all over the place
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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