so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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