it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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