Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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