forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
