Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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