my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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