Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
