I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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