Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize