Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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