420 ftw
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
