Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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