i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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