yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
