girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
