I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
