we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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