I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
