i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just cropdusted the office
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
