I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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