Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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