She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i think my cat just said my name.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
