I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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