Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
