we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
