Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
