As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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