if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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