so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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