I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
