took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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