I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
