Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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