I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
