I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
