Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
