yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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