She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
