Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize