I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
