ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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