So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
