Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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