nut hugger
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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