He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
