Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
