dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
