I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
