Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
