i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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