farters have to be the big spoon...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to sanitize my soul.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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