Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
