no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
